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Why the Gottman Method?

 

Gottman Method Couples Therapy combines the knowledge and wisdom of over 40 years of research and clinical practice with more than 3,000 couples. This research shows us what actually works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship.

Proven in Practice:

The Gottman Method is structured and goal-oriented. Gottman interventions and exercises help couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection, and intimacy in their relationships. Gottman helps couples:

  • increase respect, affection, and closeness
  • break through and resolve conflict when they feel stuck
  • generate greater understanding between partners
  • keep conflict discussions calm.

Achievable Outcomes:

Research shows that to make a relationship last, couples must become better friends, learn to manage conflict, and create ways to support each other’s hopes for the future. Drs. John and Julie Gottman have shown how couples can accomplish this by paying attention to what they call the Sound Relationship House, or the seven components of healthy coupleships.

  1. Build Love Maps: During couples therapy, this is where we start so that each partner can learn and know their partner's inner psychological world, his or her worries, stresses, joys and dreams.
  2. Share Fondness and Admiration: The antidote for contempt, this level focuses on the amount of affection and respect within a relationship. Couples learn that to strengthen fondness and admiration, they need to express appreciation and respect.
  3. Turn Towards: State your needs, be aware of bids and turn towards them. The small moments of everyday life are actually the building blocks of your relationship.
  4. The Positive Perspective: The presence of positive affect in problem-solving discussions and the success of repair attempts.
  5. Manage Conflict: We use the term "manage" conflict rather than "resolve" conflict because relationship conflict is natural and has functional, positive aspects. Couples learn to understand the critical difference in handling perpetual problems and solvable problems.
  6. Make Life Dreams Come True: Create an atmosphere that encourages each person to talk honestly about his or her dreams, values, convictions and aspirations.
  7. Create Shared Meaning: Understand important dreams, narratives, myths, and metaphors about your relationship.

Information on this page was based on content provided by The Gottman Institute.